What My Partner Learned As a Stay-At-Home Dad

Namely, that we don’t value caregivers — and we should

Kerala Taylor
7 min readFeb 7, 2023

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Photo by kate_sept2004 via Canva.

When my partner called me at work, his breath sounded labored. “Is everything okay?” I asked with alarm. Everything wasn’t okay. My partner was walking home with our 14-month-old baby on his back, wearing a tank top through which he was copiously sweating.

Were it summer, there would be no cause for concern. No one walks outside for any length of time during a Washington, D.C. summer without copiously sweating — especially if you have a baby on your back.

But it wasn’t summer. It was January, and the temperature outside was a brisk 31 degrees.

I think I’m having a panic attack, he said.

The thought of my husband having a panic attack — with our daughter on his back, blocks away from home — was enough to send my own nervous system into overdrive.

I managed to talk him down, but it wasn’t the last time his anxiety would rear its ugly head. He wasn’t a stranger to anxiety — or even to panic attacks, for that matter — but this felt different. His anxiety built on itself that much more quickly when he was simultaneously being entrusted with a human life. Not only that, it was the life of a human who had recently learned how to not just walk, but run…

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Kerala Taylor

Award-winning writer. Interrupting notions of what it means to be a mother, woman, worker, and wife. Subscribe: https://keralataylor.substack.com