We Celebrate Brides But Not Wives

The institution of marriage is failing heterosexual women

Photo by kkshepel via Canva.

When my male coworker recently proposed to his girlfriend, I wanted to feel happy for them. Of course, I sent my requisite CONGRATS! on Slack, studded with champagne and confetti emojis.

But truth be told, I find it it hard to get too excited when I learn that a heterosexual couple has gotten engaged.

Here’s what I wanted to tell my coworker:

I hope you listen. I hope you share your feelings and communicate your needs. I hope you don’t dismiss her. I hope you truly try to understand.

I wanted to tell my coworker’s fiancé:

I hope you stand up for yourself. I hope you don’t let resentment quietly grow and fester. I hope you don’t give up too much. I hope you don’t try to do it all.

Even though I’m not close with this particular bride- and groom-to-be, I find it strange that even amongst family and friends, we rarely have these conversations.

Instead, we fawn over diamond rings and floor-length dresses. We ask for wedding details — dates, locations, guest lists. We look on as couples and their families spend exorbitant amounts of money — on average, 63% of the median annual U.S. household income — for a half-day…