Vera, I appreciate your thoughtful and honest response. As I mentioned in my other comment, I don't think I struck quite the right tone at the end here, particularly with the "wipe your ass" word choice. I don't really expect my kids to wiping my ass in a nursing home, either -- the point is, we'll both be relying on the younger generation to take care of us in our old age. Of course, as the one who opted into motherhood, I'm the one reading the bedtime stories and wiping my own children's asses, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't all feel a sense of collective responsibility when it comes to raising the next generation.
And just to be clear, there are not "plenty of people" advocating for working mothers. We still have no federal leave policy, no viable system of childcare, and the gender pay gap is far wider for working mothers. A bipartisan bill passed both the House and Senate in the 1970s to create a public childcare system for children under 5 and President Nixon vetoed it. In 50 years there has not been the political will to pass anything like that again. So I hope you understand why we feel overlooked and left behind.
I have a background in UX and there is a concept called inclusive design, meaning that UX will drastically improve for *everyone* if we design websites for our most stressed-out and underserved users. That's why as a co-owner at my worker-owned co-op, whatever I'm considering bringing to the table -- whether it's adding reproductive health benefits or advocating for a four-day workweek -- I do it with the needs of a single mother of color in mind. I'm not a single mother, nor am I woman of color, but this is an example of a "stress case," a person who is the *least* served by our dominant working culture. If all decisions about our workplaces were made through this lens, we would ALL be working less, ALL women would be making more money, and ALL of us would have more flexible hours.
As I said, I'm sorry if I my word choice and framing in this particular article put you on the defensive. I think I did a much better job articulating myself in this story, if you care to read it: https://keralataylor.medium.com/stop-telling-me-i-need-a-village-and-help-me-build-one-a8704652e000
In it, I reflect on this story and what I could have articulated better: "I realized that I don’t really want people continually going out of their way to help me. I don’t want a steady stream of one-way help. To be perfectly honest, I’m pretty bad at accepting help and even worse at asking for it. What’s more, there’s no need for childfree women to feel responsible for filling the gaping holes of support that the patriarchy refuses to mend. What I do want is to live in a neighborhood where we continually go out of our way to help each other."
