To clarify, my understanding is that lesbians divorce at a rate about twice as high as same-sex male couples. Can you share your source? I think when it comes to equity, both lesbians and hetero men/women have a lot to learn from gay male couples.

Also, women are more likely than men to initiate divorces, but women and men are just as likely to end non-marital relationships. (https://www.asanet.org/women-more-likely-men-initiate-divorces-not-non-marital-breakups) So no, that is not just "what women do."

Cleanliness standards do not have much to do with the invisible labor. Most women I know do not have particularly high standards when it comes to the house and would love to parent less if they actually had a community around them to help. Also, I can't name a single mother I know who has ever, even once, purchased a doily.