Member-only story
Should I Try Dating Women?
I don’t seem to be the only hetero-leaning woman asking this question
I’ve always been into men. Well, not always — before men, I was into boys, starting with the one who sat next to me in my second-grade Spanish class. He had black-framed glasses and wavy hair. I spent much of class acting as bored as possible, trying to impress him with my cool indifference.
In my later elementary years, it was Joey from New Kids On The Block who became the object of my infatuation. My father once caught me kissing him — or more accurately, the poster of him that I had ripped out from Seventeen and taped above my bed.
It would be years before I actually experienced a real kiss, but during those years, a lot of pining transpired. I loved the feel of boys’ shoulders under my sweaty palms during middle school dances. I loved their creaky voices. I loved their haphazard handwriting and the way their jeans hung on their narrow hips.
In high school, most of my female friends didn’t seem quite as taken by boys as I was. Then during college these same friends came out as lesbian, and a lot of things in retrospect made a lot more sense. I had a distinct sense they were disappointed in me for not joining the big coming out party, but for better or for worse, I still felt attracted to males.
