My 40s have been, without a doubt, my best decade yet, and I'm only 2.5 years in. I care less about what other people think (particularly men) than I ever have before. My heart hurts to watch my 11yo daughter on a reverse journey, slowly shedding all the natural confidence she was born with as she makes the painful transition to womanhood.

The first time I had to report abusive commenters to Medium was for my story, "We Need More Stock Photos of Middle-Aged Women Kicking Ass." I write sometimes about all the ass I'm kicking, and I have such a hard time finding stock photos for those stories. The vitriol against middle-aged women in the comments section was intense -- and that's coming from someone who was already used to a fair amount of anti-feminist bullying. Fuck 'em though. They're scared. A woman who has come into her own and doesn't use male opinions as a barometer of her own self-worth is, for some folks, the biggest threat out there.