Love the line about motherhood being a process of letting go - so true!! My best advice is to not be too hard on yourself. I've always considered myself "bad" at disciplining my children, particularly my strong-willed feisty daughter. How-to books can be helpful, but the most important thing I've learned is not to beat myself up when I'm not "doing it right." No single strategy works for every parent-child relationship and some strategies don't play well to my strengths. I wrote about this issue recently too, about all the emphasis I put in my daughter's early years on being a "good girl": https://medium.com/the-virago/i-dont-want-my-daughter-to-be-a-good-girl-18b39e44bad6