“Just Do Less” — And Other Unhelpful Tips for Women

This is bad advice that pretends to be empowering

Photo by Dean Drobot/Canva

First, we were told to do more. We were told to lean in at work, put in twice the effort as the menfolk, then come home to our second shift. We were told to do it all with a smile because everybody knows that women look prettier when we smile.

Sheryl Sandberg came along and said okay, maybe we don’t need to smile so much. Maybe we don’t need to mask our ambition. But speaking of ambition, we need more of it. We need to play the hell out of this game called Extractive Capitalism. Instead of questioning the rules, we need to lean into them.

Oh, and if we’re pregnant, we should ask for a parking spot closer to the entrance at the office because that extra walk is the crux of all our problems.

Of course, as Sandberg acknowledges, doing more at work has to mean doing less at home because capitalism demands so much of us that being a primary caregiver and a successful career woman are mutually exclusive. Let’s not question that, though.

I can’t tell you how many times, in questioning the demands placed on modern mothers and in discussing the inequitable distribution of household and caregiving labor, I’ve been told to “just do less.” I get this glib and oh-so-helpful advice from both men and women. It’s framed as empowering, giving me “permission” to share the load and to care less about, say, the orderliness of my home.

But “just do less” is not just annoying advice, it’s bad advice. Here’s why:

It trivializes household and caregiving labor

For capitalist career feminists, doing less is fairly straightforward. Women just have to be ambitious enough to make enough money to outsource all that household and caregiving labor to less ambitious women. That leaves them time for the really important stuff, like leading social media companies that are destroying our democracy and our children’s mental health.

For those of us who can’t afford nannies and dedicated housekeepers, which is most of us, we just have to prioritize better. We all know that women perennially overthink and over-complicate household and caregiving labor. It’s not…