I find it telling that when talking about division of labor, men always talk about cleaning and chores. This is only a small part of what I'm talking about. For any visible chores, a good way to divvy them up is by who has higher standards for it. My ex had higher bed-making and laundry-folding standards so those were on his chore list. But it's the invisible labor that's the most insidious and the hardest to divvy up. And it's usually not even on men's radar.