Member-only story
I Don’t Want to Be a Wife Anymore
Call me a partner, please
I’ve been a wife for nearly 14 years, and still, I wince ever so slightly when I hear myself referred to as such. Early on, I assumed wife would be something I’d grow into eventually. Every title is new and strange when you first try it on.
Mama was new and strange to me at first, too, as was Mom when my daughter decided she wasn’t a baby anymore and needed to drop a syllable. These days, as a pre-teen, she pronounces Mom as a two-syllable word, usually accompanied by a head shake and an eye roll. So now I have to get used to being Mo-om.
But it’s never taken long for me to adapt to these evolving iterations that confirm my identity as a mother. I don’t know what it is about wife. I just don’t like the word. I don’t associate it with adjectives like empowered, or smart, or even particularly kind. Instead, descriptors like subservient, superficial, and catty come to mind.
Throughout recent history, there have been two dominant perceptions and portrayals of wives. There’s the obedient “yes dear” wife, and there’s the naggy, ball-and-chain wife.
The obedient “yes dear” wife is happily confined to the home and eternally faithful to her husband, turning a blind eye to his “male urges” that render him incapable of reciprocating her fidelity. We…
