How Mothers Unwittingly Perpetuate Patriarchal Gender Norms
And how we can interrupt these deeply ingrained assumptions and behaviors
We often talk about The Patriarchy as though it’s its own self-contained entity that exists in its own self-contained space. Many of us would like to smash it, or at least methodically dismantle it. Sounds nice, but here’s the thing — the patriarchy is in the very air we breathe. It’s insidious. Conniving. Sly.
Even those of us, like me, who would very much like to destroy the patriarchy often end up perpetuating it.
The Women’s Liberation Movement, for instance, did succeed in liberating college-educated women from their homes. But in the process, these newly minted career women merely transferred portions of their unpaid, undervalued domestic and caregiving labor to other women, then continued to take on most of the rest of it during their second shifts. Yes, the Women’s Liberation Movement disrupted gender norms in some economic sectors, but career feminists continued, and continue, to perpetuate the patriarchy in more ways than one.
There was a time when I embraced the “lean in” approach, when I just wanted to see women kicking ass in superhero movies and board rooms alike. But like many of my fellow feminist mothers on Substack, I’ve realized…
