Medium, I’m not leaving you yet. But I‘m cheating on you, just so you know. — Much like “wash curtains” and “organize digital photos,” I’ve had a lingering item on my to-do list to “get on Substack.” I even took a precious PTO day back in October to get all set up on the platform. I changed the name of the publication about five times. Then…

White fragility and interracial coupling do not go hand in hand — On our third date, the man who would become my husband told me, “You get it.” The “it” he was referring to was racism. At the time, I was flattered to have a Black person acknowledge my wokeness. But I’ve since realized that three dates in, I didn’t really get…

Here’s what happens when we put down our phones and start knocking on doors — There is a strange intimacy to the overnight stay in someone else’s home. In the hours that elapse between dinner and breakfast, you get a peek into your hosts’ rhythms, routines, bathroom products. Do they wash dishes after dinner or leave them in the sink? Do they drink tap water…

Making light of excessive alcohol consumption is only part of the problem — Apparently, there are two types of wine drinkers in this world: 1) connoisseurs, and 2) mommies. The connoisseurs keep their wine in elegant racks, or better yet, temperature-controlled cellars. They sniff and swirl their wine before allowing it to pass their lips. They care about tannins, mouthfeel, and other terms…

If we sought out more intergenerational friendships, we’d be a lot less lonely — I should probably acknowledge up front that I’m not a very good friend. I suck at keeping in touch with people. I’m not very proactive about reaching out. I don’t always remember birthdays. When it comes to responding to text messages, I have a spotty record, at best. I’ve only…

My badass female elders are living, learning, and loving on their own terms — I can’t wait to turn 70. I know, I’m supposed to be terrified of aging. But the happiest women I know all seem to be in their 70s — crow’s feet, neck wattles, varicose veins and all. Most of the unhappiest women I know are in their 20s and 30s…

We live in a society that not only fails to protect our children’s health, but actively makes them sick. — I’m another exhausted parent, and no one wants to hear it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s tiring to raise children, we get it, enough already. But actually, people don’t really get it. I know this because it only clicked for me very recently, and I’ve parented three children, starting with my…

We stand at a puzzling intersection of privilege and marginalization — It is somewhat ridiculous, of course, to talk about white women. We are as diverse as any other intersection of race and gender, representing a broad spectrum of political, professional, and personal identities. That said, there are some things that white women in the United States have in common. To…

Without an honest reckoning when it comes to gender inequity and unpaid labor, therapy can only go so far — I’ve got all the tools. I’ve got intentional dialogues and “I statements” and shared pools of meaning. I respect the tools. I often forget the tools when I need them most, but they help sometimes. I’m not ashamed to tell you that my partner and I see a marriage counselor…